Emotional neglect leaves a trail of neurological and psychosomatic reactions in the body of the developing child, these are often resurging in adulthood under medicalised terms of Anxiety, Depression and Behavioural Disorder inflammation of the brain, those neurons being effected by "pruning" an attack of its own cells limiting the function of synapses; often in severe case of adverse childhood where sexual and physical abuse were present it prevent the brain forming its natural development, in some cases it has shrunk.
When parents sufficiently neglect emotional needs, they do not notice what you are feeling, ask about your feelings, connect with you on an emotional level, or validate your feelings enough. There may be enough hugs. There may be enough money. There may be enough food and clothing. But this family does not manage to provide enough emotional awareness, validation, compassion, or emotional care to the children.
Research have established a link between a difficult / abusive and or emotionally neglectful childhood and the development of organic disease and illnesses, such as cancer, obesity, auto immune disease, chronic bowel syndrome to name a few. Exposing the child to unpredictable stress cause the body to churn out inflammatory stress hormones - cortisol and adrenaline - that ignite a state of physical and neural - inflammation.
Parallel to this moderate stress may be the grist for resiliency when it's not deeply personal, chronic and or perpetrated by someone we love. Recently studies carried out at the Harvard University on the " toxic stress response - the impact of childhood hardship on brain development and on the development of diseases later in life" everything that infiltrate the body influences the brain development, the cardiovascular system, and the metabolic system.
The outcomes here is not to eliminate stress completely, in childhood to be able to deal with normative stress is part of healthy development, children learn how to seek out resourceful strategies, self sooth, recover and build the biological capacities for resistance. Toxic stress is what to look out for.
You cannot fix your family, and you do not need to try. But you can start changing yourself.
Monika Bassani Counselling and Supervision | Counselling for Anxiety, Depression, Trauma,
Narcissistic Abuse, Relationships, Childhood Adversities, Couple Counselling, Loss
Mob: 07506 790316 | mbassanicounselling@protonmail.com | www.monikabassanicounsellingandsupervision.com
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